Joel Vernier

As I find myself awakening from my mid-afternoon nap, my second favorite nap of the day, after my mid-morning nap, of course, I turned on the big screen to enjoy an afternoon show. I find that there are many health benefits to relaxing in my naps afterglow instead of just getting up and rushing through my day. As the television popped on, I missed the beginning of my story. I found that I tuned in just as the rash of political commercials began. I call it a rash of commercials because I usually get irritated by the tone, content, and often deceiving claims made by political commercials.

There are many formats for these types of intrusions into my life. One that makes me the most nauseous is when they have a heartwarming music background. They have various scenes showing the candidate as a caring, listening, concerned saint of a person that is just like you and me. Never mind the fact that they may be millionaires or billionaires, they are worried about the little guy.

They want to bring us jobs or correct some wrong that has been done to us. Of course, the only job they really want is the job they’re campaigning for.

They show candidates with farmers, factory workers, and single moms and promise us jobs. One format shows a grisly picture of closed factories, people standing in line at the unemployment office, saying how their economic plan will bring all of the jobs back, amid the COVID-19 crisis. Everything wrong is the other candidate’s fault; everything that is right is owned by both candidates. The music is heartwarming, the warm looks they give to people, their faces showing friendly all-knowing leadership skills.

How about “attack ads!” Cities burning, violence, hospital beds with people in them. The ads that take something totally out of context to show how insensitive and horrible the other candidate is, complete with irritating music. And the next moment, it shows the candidate who paid for the ad glowing with uplifting music to show contrast. And the slogans: “WIN,” “Hope and Change,” “Make America Great Again!,” “Things go better with coke!” Oh, wait, that’s not right!

Also, the debates are often so out of control, no civility, no professionalism, candidate’s throwing out statistics right and left, positions that flip flop from what they said at the beginning of the debate. It looks like the “Three Stooges” vs. “The Wizard of Oz” characters. “He has no heart, she has no brain, and you are a coward!” “You are not a patriot, you are a socialist, you have no plan for COVID-19. Elect me, and I will show you my plan.”

We have truth in advertising laws, right? We need truth in political commercials and debates too! Just imagine if we would hold our politicians accountable for their promises made on the stump. If there was an independent fact check on-screen when candidates are quoting something. They could use sound effects like a bell “ding, ding, ding” for when they are right and a buzzer when they are wrong!

Maybe someday we will achieve a utopian election. In the meantime, I’m very thankful for the mute button on my remote. I’m so tired of these ads; I think I’ll just take another nap. I wish I could hibernate until after the elections are over. We return to commercials about toilet paper, deodorant toothpaste, food, and movie ads.

“Remember, every day is a gift! Some are just a little more fun to open than others. – © Joel M. Vernier 09/08/2020 Author of: “The Guinea Pig In The Freezer.” joelmvernier@aol.com.

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