Joel Vernier

It was another summer day, I was up at the crack of dawn – around 8 a.m., consumed my usual summertime breakfast of eggs, toast, hash browns, strawberry preserves, orange juice, coffee and water to swallow down various pharmaceutical, vitamin and nutritional supplements. To look at me, you would think I am just chock-full of nutrition. One cannot be too healthy. In addition to the RX’s I take vegetable pills, fruit pills, vitamin D, C, B and E, Folic acid, baby aspirin, Turkey Tail mushroom powder, cinnamon, C.Q. 10, Hemp oil, and blueberry pills. After consuming all of this, I am exhausted and full.

I settled into my “Comfy Chair” and began to drift off into slumberland. R.E.M. started to take over my eye movement, as they began darting around faster than dice at a Vegas gambling table, I was abruptly shocked back into the land of the living by the dreaded sound of my weather radio’s alarm and Nixle alarm on my cell phone! It said that my county was under a severe thunderstorm warning with dangerous winds, hail, mayhem, and a tornado watch – yikes!

Okay, time to review my checklist of storm safety precautions. I have installed a whole house surge protector, each outlet has its own surge protector plugged in, and in turn, all electronics have their own surge protector plugged into the outlet protector, protected by the whole house surge protectors, check! 

We have a basement that has a pre-selected safety zone complete with chairs, a 30-day supply of water and a 90-day supply of food; just in case, because if I get nervous, a 90-day supply could turn into a 10-day supply of food, check. 

I have a box of flashlights, blankets, matches and several adult beverages just in case the storm gets bad. At one time I had several cases, but with the holidays and other celebrations, I’m down to one case with a few almost empty bottles in it, just for medicinal purposes, of course, check. The chairs consist of two of my old retired “Comfy Chairs” that my wife said they could no longer stay in the family room, check.

I turned on the television so that I can watch the weather maps of the approaching storms. It was so scary looking, the meteorologists put up a multi-color computer-generated screen that shows lightning strikes, different colors for the amount of rainfall, circulating clouds that might be a tornado, various sizes of hail, pea-size, baseball and bowling ball-size hail! 

The real storm approached, the winds began to howl, the trees started to bend, and the rain came like a Biblical deluge! Horizontal rain, vertical rain, inverted rain, huge droplets, pounding rain! Next, it began to hail pea-size thank goodness; the lightning was everywhere, I felt like a million flashbulbs were going off again and again. The thunder sounded like a reverberating bowling alley or a space shuttle launch! 

We headed to the basement for cover. Then all of a sudden, it was done, gone, over. The sun came out, the birds began to sing, and better yet, it was lunchtime. I’m starving. I am an emotional eater, and if I don’t eat regularly, I get emotional! Time for a sandwich, dessert, and a well-deserved afternoon nap!

“Remember, every day is a gift! Some are just a little more fun to open than others.” – © Joel M. Vernier 2019 Author of: “The Guinea Pig In The Freezer.” joelmvernier@aol.com.

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